I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
