sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I party with great urgency now.
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