Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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