The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
