the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize