Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
