I molested 6 butterflies tonight
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
