I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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