why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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