...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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