This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
