You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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