Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
PANTIES FOUND
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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