idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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