My room smells like vodka and shame
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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