Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
