it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
my poor anus
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
