Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
