If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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