I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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