the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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