Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
