My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
