Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
