ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
