put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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