Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
