Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
