Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
