her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
