I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
