i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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