you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
