I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize