Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
