please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
