You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
