The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
