and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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