he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
