Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
