I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
