oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
