so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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