It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize