Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
