My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
