You made me cry and you don't even care
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
