Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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