'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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