we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
