your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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