We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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