Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Less talking, more tequila
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
