its not stalking. its research.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
