I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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