Me too!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
