He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
