my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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