Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We need to get me chipped asap
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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